Shame and self-doubt

Sexual assaults are violations of personal boundaries. The victim’s will, dignity and physical integrity is ignored, no longer apparent. His right to sexual self-determination is abused. He is subjected to violence.

Some victims are left with feelings of shame and doubt, and they accuse themselves of being guilty. They ask themselves, for example, if their own behaviour led to the incident, if they somehow motivated the perpetrator. Another aspect contributing to these feelings is the widely held view that this type of ”unfortunate” sexual experience is part of a gay or bisexual man’s coming-out and biography and that a man can obviously handle it.

Shame and doubt cause people to withdraw and set aside their own needs. Some people need time. This is no reason for them to deal with the attack by themselves.

How to protect yourself?

Make your boundaries clear and  trust your instincts. Self-assured behaviour can protect you from advances and attacks in many cases.

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What to do if it happens?

If you have been attacked, or if danger is lurking, call the police immediately on 110 and ask passers by or in the next bar for help.

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Shame and self-doubt

Sexual assaults are violations of personal boundaries. The victim’s will, dignity and physical integrity is ignored, no longer apparent.

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MANEO can talk to you and offer support

We know from many years’ experience how difficult people find it to find someone to talk to, to trust them and to talk about what has happened.

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Advice for witnesses and helpers

If you witness an act of violence ...

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Download

You can download our information sheet "Sexual assaults" here.

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The MANEO project

The Berlin-based anti-violence project MANEO has been operating since 1990 as an independent division of Mann-O-Meter e.V. MANEO is the most experienced and well-known gay anti-violence project in Germany.

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